The Road To My ...

Startin' up

2010-02-02T16:42:00.003-05:00

Started the new job on Monday. Actually, I feel almost like I started another semester of college. I have a stack of tests and books to read by next week. However, I am getting paid this time which is much different than school. I'll let you all know if anything interesting happens. See ya...

BSN RN

2010-01-18T11:00:00.002-05:00

Well, I did it. I haven't written on here in some time due to my final semester in nursing school; but, I think that I am going to get back into the habit. As for an update, I have graduated, I actually have a job lined up at The NICU (my dream job), and I am studying for boards. Also, we have moved from Louisville to Lexington. I do have to say that Lexington feels like home for Nicki and I. As things get settled, I will try to keep you all abreast of what is happening.

End of an era?

2009-08-30T01:04:00.002-04:00

The time is approaching when I will no longer be a student; and, I will be called upon to perform as a professional influence on the lives of my patients. This is a humbling thought. For one, some time ago, I could hardly imagine myself being responsible for the lives of other people. Now, the reality of this thought has hit home like a ton of bricks. At this point in my career, I have seen, and spent time with, people in their last moments. I have watched the doctors and nurses furiously act to save life, but now watching is no longer an option. Now, I am expected to act. Actually, not just act; but, I am expected to have my actions be productive. In the mundane, I can perform flawless. In the acute, when pink health is degrading into the blue, then the grey, basic elements of our composition, will I be a help or hindrance? Time will tell.

Midway Through

2009-06-07T11:35:00.003-04:00

I am about half way done with my nurse externship. So far it has been a wonderful experience. The staff is great, and I have learned a lot in a few short weeks. Most of my apprehension was due to preconceived ideas of what a child cancer floor was like. I thought that it would be a sad place to work; however, I have discovered that it may be the one place where you truly get to know your patients and families. I find that to be most rewarding. Moreover, advancements in cancer treatment is helping kids survive cancers that were once a death sentence. Not to mention, the treatments are getting better every day.

The photo is of a cancer cell being attacked by the immune system

Shy-town

2009-06-03T13:37:00.003-04:00

We just returned from Chicago. Good times were had. I am not going to talk to much about it because Nicki has said just about what I would have said on her blog. Definitely great times.

http://nickibaker.blogspot.com/

King of the dogs

2009-05-15T00:00:00.004-04:00

I got a good laugh out of this. Mostly because it was a Boston Terrier!

2009-05-02T23:07:00.002-04:00

Well it is official, I only have one semester left in nursing school. I actually did pretty good last semester too. I have the summer off, so we are going to take some vacations for a change. We haven't had one in quite some time so we are over due...it is time for a break

2009-04-29T00:49:00.002-04:00

I recently commented on Subdural Flow (my mother in laws blog). A moment ago, she posted a story about Andrew’s parole hearing (link in the sidebar). I posted the following:

“You have been cleansed, bathed, and statisized by the institutional embrace of bureaucracy. The little man behind the curtain just wants to make sure the numbers fit the widgets properly to keep the bureaucratic machine grinding forward. This little desk man feels that this work is good. His contributions meaningful. He thinks that he has given you hope, however confusion lays in his wake. I hope the best outcome prevails.”

After posting this I started dwelling on it. At times, I feel that something profound or clever falls out of me and onto the page, but, in retrospect, most things I say have a tendency to ramble without a point. Or, I make a point that was not intended. Or, I lose sight of what actually makes sense. When commenting on Subdural Flow, I try to keep everything as outlandish as possible with a couple of meaningful words at the end. I find that it works best to have a little meaning so that my mother in law will feel compelled to post it. For instance, I have written a paragraph about selling Boston terriers from a road side cart, and then slapped a few words of praise on the end and bam! The whole thing slides right onto the blog. Rarely do I come up with something that leads me to think about choices. With this comment, I was trying to sound profound and stoic; but, I think that I can relate my mother in law’s experience to some choices that Nicki and I have made in our life.

On my mother in law’s blog she describes the parole officer and his actions. The point I hope to make to my mother in law, my family, and Nicki’s family is that the choices that we have made for our life path has been heavily influenced by people like this man. We have worked with and for people like this and found their gaze suffocating. We knew a life immersed in an environment, with people like this, would debase our very consciousness. I know that my father does not understand our path. I suspect many of our family do not understand (even to this day). I hope to convey the madness that would ensue having the work day in and day out with people like the parole officer from my mother in laws story.

I don’t mean these words to sound as though I know what it feels like to sit with my son, in front of a video screen, at his parole hearing. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, but there are times in life where we have to do things that are unpleasant. Sometimes out of duty, but more powerfully out of love.

Extern Update

2009-04-17T11:17:00.004-04:00

Well, I got the call today. I start my nurse externship May 18th. I think that it will be a good experience. No, I know that it will be.

Oh, I did a rotation yesterday in the labor and deliver department. This was not what I expected at all. I had it made up in my mind that it was a slow pace area, and there was a lot of sitting around. Not true at all. There were several c-sections, births, and procedures to be seen. The craziest thing, I saw a doctor rotate a baby while still in the uterus. He just grabbed on to the belly and squeezed and pushed and around the thing came. The other crazy thing was the mom had zero pain meds (at her request). I would have needed a bucket of medication to go through that.

Next Step Extern

2009-04-08T23:53:00.011-04:00

A nurse extern is an opportunity that a student can take on during the summer break of their senior year. I had my heart on returning home to the NICU for this opportunity. So, for many months, I have been honing my application, and making calls to my old managers. I even had one of my managers write me a reference letter for the position. Unfortunately, I was not selected for the NICU. What I did get was bitter sweet. I believe that my externship will be on a pediatric oncology floor. When I think about this, and I really think hard, this makes sense to me as a step toward understanding how to function under an emotional demand that very well may be the most demanding I have ever encountered.

Cancer. Most people associate this term with death, or at the very least, near death. Even most seasoned nurses cringe at the word "pediatric oncology". Yes, people die from this disease, but there needs to be someone there to try to stop this from happening. A patient, surrounded by good people, may not have any better a chance at living than a person who receives no treatment at all. But we tried. I would feel the same about any place I may end up as a nurse. The disease process may not be curable, but someone must be there to escort this child, baby, mother, father, sister, or brother to the next life that is waiting for them.

I posted this picture of death for two reasons. One, I thought that it was well drawn, which speaks to the inginuity that is to be human.

Two, I feel that, in a way, death tells us to embrace impermanence, and cherish what we have.

Semester Ending

2009-04-02T10:45:00.006-04:00

My semester is winding down. I have two giant case studies due next week and the week after. I have not started one, and the other I am about half way through. In fact, I should be working on that instead of posting on my blog, but I like living on the edge. Yeah right...

Oh, My beautiful bride and I will be moving to Lexington, so she can go to graduate school out there. So, I think that we will start selling our house in June. Originally, we weren't sure if we were going to go all the way out there, if she would commute, or if we would move halfway between Lexington and Louisville. We just needed to commit to one city or another I think, so we chose Lexington. She may have to commute for a little while in the fall, and then I will have to commute until I graduate. Fall will be a tough semester, but we'll just have to get through it. You know what is funny about Nicki's grad school experience. Her back up school didn't even short list her as a candidate to be selected. Where as the school that she did get into is paying for her tuition, and giving her a generous stipend that is more than I make working full time. I think that is a profound difference. On one hand, the better of the two schools is throwing money at her, and the crappier school won't even look at her. I feel confident in calling the backup school not as good as the one she got into, because I go there. The school she is going to has updated equipment and invests heavily in infrastructure and research. At my school, her back up, the facilities are old, the classrooms have not been updated (and desperately need to be), but the football and basketball stadiums are cutting edge. I think we have made the right choice even though is does not seem that there was much of a choice to begin with.

I Became A Nurse to be Married to a Doctor!

2009-03-26T23:35:00.005-04:00

If you have looked at Nicki's blog you will notice that she has some great news. She has been accepted into the Biochemical and Molecular Biology of Nutrition graduate program at the University of Kentucky. So, I didn't really become a nurse to marry a doctor. I know this is a stereotype for nurses "the doctors hand maiden" and so forth. In reality, I became a nurse to support a doctor. Now that is irony! Well, maybe not so much. I am just really happy to get to this point. We have worked so hard, and to see things fall into place is such a good feeling.

I though the cartoon was fitting. Not that I think Nicki will be secretly placing drops of hydrochloric acid on the necks of her colleagues, but she definitely has an expansive sense of humor. I can see her getting a gregarious, boisterous reputation. It will be a good time. Good job babe.

One side note...I have lived in Kentucky for like 3 years (give or take). I have talked about "The Onion" to many natives, and have been met with confused looks across the board. Today, I am happy to say that I have found one (native) Kentuckian that reads The Onion. I plan to find the second person in 2012.

America's Finest News Source on Babies

2009-03-25T23:53:00.006-04:00

I sent this out to a few people that I know, but I felt that it deserved a broader audience. So, with blogger as my forum, I thought that I would share a fabulous article from "The Onion"...

NEW YORK—A new study published in The Journal Of Pediatric Medicine found that a shocking 98 percent of all infants suffer from bipolar disorder. "The majority of our subjects, regardless of size, sex, or race, exhibited extreme mood swings, often crying one minute and then giggling playfully the next," the study's author Dr. Steven Gregory told reporters. "Additionally we found that most babies had trouble concentrating during the day, often struggled to sleep at night, and could not be counted on to take care of themselves—all classic symptoms of manic depression." Gregory added that nearly 100 percent of infants appear to suffer from the poor motor skills and impaired speech associated with Parkinson's disease. http://www.theonion.com/

I know it is a little on the dry side, but if you had to go through my psych clinical rotation I think that you would appreciate this.

Nursing diagnosis:

Disturbed thought process R/T cyclic mood disorders AEB racing thoughts, grandiosity, and poor judgment.

Poor judgment by forgetting the rest of the costume that goes with the Batman outfit. Look into those eyes, rules don't apply to him. He's gonna do what he wants, and claim to not understand 'cause he can't speak english. I think we better keep an eye on this one.

watch'MAN'

2009-03-10T09:37:00.005-04:00

So, Nicki and I decided to see a movie last night. Usually, we prefer a good action flick; and, we heard that the Watchmen was getting pretty good reviews. Besides, the graphic novel is supposed to be excellent. However what we were not prepared for was this.

Notice if you will. The specimen has a giant blue dong. In it of itself is not that beg of a deal. But, the damn thing was distracting. Unfortunately, I couldn't get a better picture of king dong, but the movie had it in many scenes and from many angles. Think about it. Some computer nerd spent hours, and got paid a lot of money, to CGI a giant blue dong. Oh it is an interactive giant blue dong too. The thing can be seen swinging in many of the scenes. Fortunately, the dong was never seen as an angry dong. That would have been just too much...

What's to come?

2009-03-09T10:51:00.003-04:00

Well, I think that I have come to the conclusion that I am going to go to grad school. I have said this in the past; however, I am beginning to see the reality of what it takes to get into grad school. Especially after seeing what Nicki has gone through to get into grad school. So, my big tasks for the upcoming summer include 1) taking the GRE and 2) doing a research study to make myself look like a more attractive candidate for even higher learning. If all goes as planned, I could be sitting in a grad level class by next year. We'll see. Unfortunately, I have a hell of a lot of hours ahead of me just in studying for the GRE. Always great fun. That's all for now. I just wanted to do a quick checkin and show you a cute boston pic...

O.K. I was referring to the top cute boston pic. The one on the left was just too damn goofy looking not to post. I actually found this on a boston terrier bashing web site, and with the look on this ones face... God these dogs can be so dumb looking. Homer looked like this once when he was running full out and tried to jump up on our deck. Unfortunately, he caught the deck in his chest. Man did he look surprised. Yes, yes they are stupid looking, but they are so lovable (and loving). Look here at my special little man when he was just a wee little man. He is much much fatter now.

The Man Who Never Was

2009-02-15T01:44:00.003-05:00

I have to tell all of you how much I love my beautiful bride. She is an outstanding human; and, I don't know what I would do with out her. I love you Nicki.

Happy Valentines Day everyone. I want to leave you all with a quote from a great, classic movie that speaks well for the occasion.

"Darling,
When you went away tonight something went with you. I think it may have been my heart, because now I am cold and empty. It is always bad when you go away. But it was worse tonight because the day was so good." (The man who never was, 1957)

So, let's spend the night together! Just kidding. Happy V day all.

Boivin's Radio

2009-02-13T00:03:00.003-05:00

Here is a name you, most likely, won’t know: Patrick Boivin. He is a Canadian, which means, he is practically a brother to all of us Detroit born. However, I think that his goal would be to be known more as a film maker, director, and artist rather than his heritage. His art being film making. His latest post, Radio, drove me to thought at a time when though was far from on my agenda. Though the style skirts simplistic, you find yourself drawing several conclusions at once; moreover, one may be inclined to notice the delicate complexities of this piece. What ever do I mean? I shall speak to that shortly.
The story follows a man in the mundane of life, and as time advances the man slowly slips into paranoia. You don’t know why, how, or by what. For instance, you might think you were watching a horror story of a possession, or the man could be a case for mental illness. Who knows? What I like is that he doesn't patronize his audience by telling them what they should think. I enjoyed the video I hope you do too. Here is the video for your perusal:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iv0IJJ_G36g

I feel Like This About Technology Sometimes

2009-02-10T09:30:00.002-05:00

The Onion again sums up my feelings. Please Watch:

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/sony_releases_new_stupid_piece_of

Palahniuk's Survivor

2009-02-07T23:03:00.004-05:00

I just wrapped up on this fairly brief read by the author of "Fight Club". Overall, I really liked the story. To start, you get an immediate glimpse at the end, and then you get to take the trip on down the line. The whole way, you get to look over the shoulder of Tender Branson as he "progresses" from a simple member of a Creedish cult, for who he is required to kill himself, to a religious superpower after he becomes, so he thinks, the soul survivor of the Creedish cult. I like Palahniuk's simple writing style; and, I especially like when his stories touch on the shit of our society. You know, the stuff that most of us think couldn't be real, and some of us hope that it is real. And in the end, the doubters and hopefuls don't have a clue that there are people that live in the shit of society praying for someone to give them even a glance. The book is a page turner. Give it a shot.

I Was Wrong

2009-02-06T09:05:00.002-05:00

I was right that Louisville can't handle snow. I was wrong about the "I could get used to this". What ended up happening was a repeat of the fall when we were out of power for 6 days. Only this time it was in the middle of the winter. So for five days, we sat around our house huddling around propane heater trying not to freeze. Not fun. I am moving to Florida as soon as I get a chance. I guess I could handle California too; but, I really just want the warmth.

I Could Get Used To This

2009-01-27T23:25:00.002-05:00

Right now, Louisville is experiencing a "major" winter storm. Being from Michigan, I don't necessarily see all the fuss, but apparently a few snow flakes turns out to be a big deal around these parts. Let's see, I think is may have snowed a grand total of 6 inches last night. Most of which is in the process of melting. I recall many days in Michigan were we had to deal with that and much more without even batting an eye. In Louisville, 6 inches of snow means that school is closed for two days. So, yeah I think I can get used to this.

The Road

2009-01-25T09:22:00.002-05:00

I may be delving out of my realm of intellect; but, I was thinking about a book (The Road) that is the best book I have read in many years. Writing about a book is out of the ordinary for me. Typically, Nicki is the more prolific reader than I. With that said, I can't help but want to say a few words what may be my favorite book of all time.

The story is simple, elegant, and distressing. The story follows a man and a boy traveling through a post apocalyptic land. There goal is to the coast, where they hope to stay alive long enough to find warmth, life, and sustenance. There are no names for the character aside from: man and boy. The land could be any any country. A reader can feel what it would be like to be in this sad state of affairs.

I won't say more. Please read the book. I feel that it is a journey best taken for yourself. Moreover, I suggest you read the book prior to seeing the movie (which is due out this year).

Book:
The Road

Author:
Cormac McCarthy

Gummy Bear

2009-01-23T00:58:00.004-05:00

Nicki loves crappy euro techno. One song she listens to often is the gummy bear song. I found this and I had to post it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WoUc0NyTfvw

Here is the original for the purists

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tPd5-GtmZ0

The Wire

2009-01-22T23:21:00.006-05:00

OK. Critics say that The Wire may be the best crime show ever. It is good. Very good in fact. HBO did a hell of a job producing this thing. However, season 5 has taken some turns that I just didn't care for. The main thing that I don't like is the loss of one of my favorite characters: Omar Little. My take on this character is: he is a rogue, shot gun wielding, stick up artist that robs only drug dealers. I love this guy. Although, I don't mourn the loss of this character; just the way he was taken out. Some young hopper snatched him while he is buying a pack of Newports. I wanted this character to go out slinging lead with his sawed off not standing around like a cow. Omar reminded me a lot of Clint Eastwood's "man with no name" character. Both are handy with a pistol, and I think in one of Clint Eastwood's final show downs he is wearing a steel plate for body armor. Omar is known for wearing body armor when on the job. I do have to admit I think that his character needed to end. Realistically, a man cannot survive long on his own when in the thick of the shit day in and day out. I just wanted a fitting way out. I guess that is life eh?

A New Year

2009-01-13T08:36:00.006-05:00

Well, I hope this year turns out to be better than the last. Not that last year was all that bad, but there wasn't a lot of good things that happened. As you may have noticed, I haven't been very active with my posting recently. Mostly, I blame the combination of nursing school and work for my lack of blogging. In all honesty, I have just been really lazy. Nonetheless, I made it through last semester; and, I am now on to my psych and mother/baby rotation. I am also a senior that graduates this year. I cannot wait.

Other developments: In the end I had to resign from the nursing student council. I guess I didn't have to resign; however, I did not have enough time to add one extra thing to my schedule. I realized that I was not going to do as much work that was required; so, I decided to let someone else give it a try. I think I did a little good though. We raised over $400 dollars for the home of the innocents. Not to mention, I actually ran a 5K with zero training and didn't pass out. I did it really slow; but, I did it. I do wish that I could still be a part of it, but there is just not enough of me to give.

I am excited about my baby class. As you might guess, I happen to like babies. The psych one doesn't excite me as much. I will keep an open mind; but, I have heard horror stories from nurses that I know who used to work at one of the psych hospitals in the area. Well, I will try to be more active in my posting in the future, but school comes first. Happy New Year all

Reality

2008-10-17T23:26:00.005-04:00

The reality is that most people try to get by while trying to do as little as possible. I had a reality check recently that drove this point home. In my pediatric clinical rotating, one of the floor nurses neglected to give a medication to one of her patients. It so happens that this is the same day that my clinical group is in the hospital. This nurse decided not to take responsibility for her actions (or lack of) or her patient, and blamed me for not giving the medication. First, I am not allowed to give medication. Second, I do not have access to medication. Third, I wouldn't have been able to give the medication because it was not my patient. Oh yes folks, I was taking care of a little girl that day that didn't have any scheduled medications. Not to mention, she was a beautiful little girl that will one day have to learn the reality of the world just as I continue to do every day. On top of that, I spent most of my that rotation day in MRI with my patient. I was there by my patients side doing, what I feel, is the right thing. I know I was doing the right thing. What kills me is nurses like this slide by, day in and day out, not doing what they should. This breaks my heart. As a prospective nurse, I want to do all that I can to get my patients well, and if you are a nurse, or other health care professional, you should want to do the same. So, unseat yourself from the nurses station (your charting was done a half hour ago anyway), take some initiative, and go talk to your patients.

Nurse X

2008-10-11T01:28:00.007-04:00

Today, I had a wonderful yet insignificant experience. A nurse called to ask where the medication for her patient is; and, though she has looked everywhere, she cannot find it. Upon being informed that her medication was delivered an hour ago she continued on her adventure in finding her medication. The wonderful part was she called back some time later and apologized. I was touched by her effort to contact me though it was completely unnecessary. I want to be like this nurse. I want to be able to admit when I am wrong, and then go out of my way to make things right. If I am able to narrow down who this nurse is I need to thank her for doing a job well, and carrying herself in a fashion that shows she cares about the people around her. Thank you Nurse X you have thoroughly impressed me.

2008-10-04T10:10:00.005-04:00

Since I started working in a hospital pharmacy, the true nature of people has become crystal clear. Now, I am not a naive person by nature. In fact, I tend to be on the sceptical side of situations until I get a chance to collect some details myself. What am I getting at? Well, I know that there is a big problem with nurses treating each other like crap on a regular basis. I just didn't get to see the full extent of there downtrodden ways (on everyone around them) until I started in the pharmacy. See, the pharmacy is in the position where we have everything the nurse needs; and, we work hard to keep on top of the orders. Primarily, we do this for patient safety. We also stay on top of things to prevent talking to nurses as much as possible. Why? Because, generally, they treat people like dirt. I wish this was not the case. I am a nursing student; and, I want to think the best about my future profession. But, after answering the phone ten times a night, with an angry nurse on the other end, it is hard not to think that they are self centered, ego driven, greed machines that only want to talk to you if they benefit from it. My feelings don't just come from working in a pharmacy. But, after working for several years in health care, and at three different hospitals, I think I am to the point were I can make an informed decision.

Usually, the angry nurse starts out "Um I don't have medication X and it was due an hour ago...I need this now..." The first question I ask is "if it was due an hour ago why are you calling now instead of an hour age". They don't like that. Next, I ask "did you check your pharmacy inbox, tube system (we have bank teller tubes), did you look in the refrigerator, and are you taking medication out of the right machine?" Usually, I get " I looked everywhere; but, I'll check one more time." A few minutes later..."Oh it was in the pharmacy in box." This happens several times a day. This attitude tends to sicken me. The whole "I have done nothing; and, I need you to fix this now!" attitude grows old quickly.

Moreover, this blatant greed kills me. For instance, you would cringe at the amount of drugs that disappear at my work. Not the narcotics. Those are tracked, recorded, finger printed etc. I guess you can take the narcs; but, you will get caught pretty quickly. I am talking about all of the other drugs. Anything from aspirin to vitamins disappear regularly, and there is not much that can be done about it. I can't count the times that a nurse angerly calls about a missing medication that should be there, and whoops the hospital drug monster ate it.

Hell, this is where we need to start reforming the health care system. If medication losses are reduced by even half of what they currently are I think that would be a good step in the right direction. I know I am generalizing the nursing profession with my words. I know that there are good nurses out there, but the problem is there if fewer good nurses than bad nurses. And, the bad ones remain an overpowering force of poor representation, to the point, that it hurts the moral of the nurses who are truly good at what they do.

Louisville Gets Trashed

2008-09-16T15:12:00.007-04:00

I am not talking about a hard partying night. I am talking about the hangover without the party. Certainly, I know I should be grateful to not have had anything worse happen to me or my family. Trust me, I am grateful; and, I fared better than most.

We ended up losing four giant limbs off of three of out trees. One of the limbs was partially responsible for knocking out our electricity. In fact, I am writing this post with my newly restored electricity. That is a total of six days without power. Our six day adventure was a little like camping, but the novelty wore of quite quickly. Oh in case you were wondering the big bat is fine.

Taking My Own Advice

2008-09-14T11:31:00.007-04:00

So, I have decided to take my own advice from my last post. Which was to volunteer more regularly. While I have no desire to run an Ironman, a marathon, or any other gut wrenching events that takes a year to train for; I decided to do a charity 5K. This is approximately 4% of an Ironman or about 11% of a marathon. While to most these numbers seem small they actually correlate to the level of insanity (or stupidity) that I have. For instance, paying $20 to run a 5k for charity is only 4% stupid; where as, paying $250 to subject myself to ischemic bowel, septicemia, acute sodium loss (which makes you act even crazier), or any other crazy stuff that happens to your body when you run a race that lasts for 14 hours seems 100% crazy. Moreover, my motivation is charity not personal glory. Alright, I admit I like personal glory just as much as the next person; but, I am not to the point in my life yet where I can provide additional time to such pursuits. But, I can find time to give a little extra to help out others.

The 5K I am running is for a local home that takes care of chronically ill babies, and children, that do not have a family or their family does not have the means to take care of them. This home relies on federal funds to function, but its never enough. So, the community steps up to support them the best we can. For instance, my nursing school does several clinical rotations each year through there which helps from time to time with the understaffed nurses. Also, there are several charity events they hold each year, but they can always use more help.

If you feel like supporting these efforts here is the link
http://homerun2008.kintera.org/uoflschoolofnursing

Like I was saying before volunteering is a good remedy for the soul.

Ironman Louisville

2008-09-01T10:51:00.006-04:00

Yesterday, I made my last set of baby formula, and then wondered over to the medical center for the 2nd annual Ironman Louisville competition. I volunteered for about 8 hours (on top of the 8 hours I already worked) at the medical center. I was a little sad when I left work. As it turns out, volunteering for Ironman was the best remedy for this. The athletes were so appreciative, and the other volunteers were awesome to work with. It was unique, in the fact, that the people volunteering didn't really know each other, but we came together as a well oiled unit. All in all, it made me feel really good. It gave me a glimpse into what it will be like (and what I will be like) as a nurse.

Looking down the road, I think I will be making volunteering a more regular thing. I had fun. Moreover, I recommend anybody to do the same. Find something that your into, and help out. You will be surprised at how rewarding it is.

Change Set Match

2008-08-28T21:30:00.003-04:00

Some time ago, I decided that I needed to look for other career options other than my glamorous baby formula making job. As fun as it sounds, making formula for babies all day seems to have its intellectual limits. Not to mention, the babies never once have said thank you. Can you believe the nerve of some of these kids? I am also haveing a problem fitting my work schedule in with my school schedule. School just happens to be my priority; so, I decided that work was the one to give. Anyway, this all leads into looking, and finding, another position.

This weekend will the last weekend that I work in the NICU. At least until I graduate. I hope that I left a good enough impression there that they would let me come back during my real career. I am pretty confident that they will. But, I am going to miss working with many of the friends that I have made there.

You might ask "so what are you going to be doing now?". Well, I am transfering within the hospital system to one of the main pharmacies; and, I will be a pharmacy technician until the day I become a nurse. A part of me is really sad to leave the NICU. However, I know that the experience I will be gaining is extremely beneficial. To have a firm grasp on the common drugs is a talent that not most nurses have, but how to prepare them, how a pharmacy works, and having day to day interactions with the pharmacists is not common for the nursing background. I know this is good for me. And, I am certain this experience will give me a boost in confidence as a nurse. I still feel a little sad though.

This also means I need to change the title of this blog. But, I know it will be easy to change it back when the time comes.

To all of my NICU friends: I won't be gone for too long. Thanks for all the good times.

Dysthymic

2008-08-11T09:42:00.002-04:00

The title is a word that sums up a generalized depressed state. A person can still function; but, they are just a little blue. I can't totally compare myself to this state of mind. I am not depressed by any standard that I can find. But, I do have a continuing sadness from the loss of my friend. It is a weird feeling to have. My life is really good. Nonetheless, I have thoughts of grieving that are making me re-examine where I am in life; and, if I am doing the right thing.

I know that my wife and I are in a better place than we were a few years ago. I think my wife can agree that on the whole we are healthier and happier; but, we are not quite were we need to be yet. With thoughts like these, I can't help but to think what would happen if we were to lose one another. I would be devastated. To have your partner ripped prematurely from your life is an unfathomable state for me. Moreover, my life would be malignant with caustic bitterness. Moreover, I think that I would become an insufferable person.

While, I am grieving for my friend. At the same time, I am thankful for my wife to be by my side, and help me with my grieving. My heart goes out to my friends family; and, I pray that they will be able to recover in some fashion. Though, I know there is a good chance, if I were in the same position, recovery would be a monumental task that I couldn't scale.

A Good Friend is Gone

2008-08-04T22:52:00.003-04:00

I don't know where to start. He was such a good person, and entirely too young to have moved on. I think back to my experiences as a child; and, he was there from my conception. He, and his wife, went to high school with my parents, and they were a few of there best friends.

I am told that today (August 4th 2008) that he was riding his motorcycle home, and was in an accident which caused him to die on impact. I got this information from my sister who called me from her work in tears. This content is all I know.

I have to say though that he wasn't just a friend of the family; moreover, he was family. You know, that kind of relationship where the genetics don't mesh, but they turn out to be the people that you are closer to than the ones that do have similar genes.

I keep thinking back to my wedding (he was there), and to all the fun we had. And again, He, and his wife, were at my sisters wedding. Both times were such a good time. I know that my parents, and my sister and her husband, were going to go on vacation with him, and his wife, this winter. It is truly amazing how quickly plans can change.

Furthermore, I keep thinking back to all the experiences that I have had with him. For instance, there was this time when I was little that my family and I stayed with them for a few weeks. At the time, they had three boys plus me (and my sister). Thinking back, I recall the look on his face from time to time, especially when he was getting ready for work. It was a look of anticipation of what kinda trouble four pre-teen boys could get into. For instance, I vividly recall his middle son in the driver's seat of his pick-up truck, and disengaging the transmission to neutral. The truck rolled out of the driveway, and rolled over the neighbor's mailbox across the street. I don't really know what happened after that; but, I can't imagine that anyone was too pleased with our antics.

I am going to miss him. Moreover, I wish I could have spent more time with him as an adult. Unfortunately, life is fleeting. I wish we could all catch up.

Summer Cliff Notes

2008-08-03T22:43:00.006-04:00

I feel like I should say that I am back. Though, I never left. I was on a vacation if you will. I shall call it vacation lazy. However, I have been doing other things; unfortunately writing has not been a high priority for me.

I think I will continue with the summer cliff note version of the last few months. After last semester, I had my lovely two week summer break, and then rolled right into pathophysiology class. This one has gone well. I am still not back up to “A” student status; but, I think I will get by just fine. But, I did some other cool things this summer too. The two great undertakings that I accomplished were:

1) I built a deck

and 2) remodeled my pantry.

I think that my next task will be to build a dog kennel for the terrible terriers, but that will be a little later in the summer.

Well, it was good writing to ya'll again.

The Onion

2008-05-09T00:33:00.004-04:00

I love the Onion. For those of you that are yet to become familiar with its trappings I will attempt to provide a brief description. The Onion is America's finest news source. Period... In all actuality, I have heard that the AP (Associated Press) actually consults the Onion on many of the most pivotal of news stories. If I needed to choose only a few words to describe the Onion they would be: Concrete, Intelligent, The Shit. Understandably, some people may possess doubts as to if the Onion can actually deliver quality, current news from around the world. I have to say they are way better than those MSNBC bitches.

A few good comments from the onion:

The Onion on Kansas
-"As best we can tell, those who go beyond the area's borders for too long are knocked off course by the low external pressure to succeed,"

-"Experts estimate that several million tons of consumer goods disappear into the region per year. Yet, almost nothing, save for the odd Sunday morning church broadcast, is ever detected coming back out".

-"While many strongly believe in the eerie, soul-destroying powers of the Kansas Rectangle, the dearth of concrete evidence has drawn its share of skeptics".

-"It's just a myth," Finney added. "This whole 'Kansas' place people talk about simply does not exist".

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/30_years_of_mans_life_disappear_in

The Onion in general
-"it can put your baby nuts in a vice and crack 'em like motherfucking pistachios"

-"I'm man enough to stand up there and say, "Fuck you, Priceline, you bitch-ass motherfucker".

God bless the Onion!
http://www.theonion.com/

The Hours

2008-05-08T23:42:00.003-04:00

I feel as though I am getting soft in my old age. There was a time in my life where I could work six or seven 12-14 hour days in a row; and, while bitter, I was no worse for the wear. Now a days, I can barely work two 12 hour shifts in a row without losing my mind. Perhaps these feelings are just a product of the hospital environment. I consider myself an outdoor type of person, and there are times that I wish I was outside instead of being couped up in the hospital. But, there's got to be more to the story than that. I just can't put my finger on the real problem. Not that it's a problem. I really like the fact that a full time job is only three days a week. On top of that, any hour you work over your scheduled hours you get paid overtime plus critical needs pay.

Maybe the reason it is so hard to work three 12 hour shifts in a row is because I no longer have to. It is no longer a job requirement for me to donate my blood to a dead end career. I will never do that again.

In the end, the NICU life has provided me with a freedom that allows me to get through the remainder of nursing school, and cultivate my family. I guess it's pretty easy to get used to not having to work six days a week. I certainly have.

The End of Semester One

2008-04-28T07:50:00.007-04:00

Aside from a few straggling things, I have reached the end of my first semester of nursing school. Not to mention, I completed the hardest class I have ever taken in my life: pharmacology. Don’t worry, I got through the academics no worse for the wear. I have gone from an A student to a B student; however, I think that is a common side effect of nursing school.

There were other things that happened over the semester that I feel were more important than the grades. I made some really good friends that helped me get through the mess of this first semester, and, most notably, are the friends I made in my community health clinical group. Here's a picture of all of us when we went to see the body exhibit in Cincinnati:

Starting in the top left going clockwise is Kelly, myself, Ann E., Allison, Kendra, Brooke in the pink, Marlyn, Melonie in the red, Jessica, and then Shelby. We had a lot of good times. We did have some times that were not so good, but what close group of people doesn’t from time to time. All I know for sure is that I am glad to have these friends to go through the rest of nursing school with me.

Oh, I wanted to talk a little about being vice president of the student council too. I think I left the impression in an earlier post that made it sound as though this role doesn't mean a lot. However, I am beginning to learn that teachers listen to the suggestions made by the student council. Now, I am certain this role means exactly what I make it mean. I control this spot, and it is my job to make some changes for the better. The first two things I am going to try to work on is setting up a mentoring program that would allow better support for incoming nursing students, and adding a cadaver lab to the curriculum.

I know the latter of the two suggestions sounds a little gross; but, nursing students need to see the human body as it is as nature intended it to be. It is much easier to put the picture together when it is in front of you and not in a book. That's the rest of my rant for the day.

The official Chef Nicki P.E.

2008-04-11T23:10:00.003-04:00

Right now, I am awake while my wife sleeps soundly in the next room. Tomorrow, she has a big day. I know she talked about it on her blog a while back; but, I think she was more interested in having an enjoyable day outside than to really elaborating on her efforts. Tomorrow, my wife graduates with a perfect 4.0 from culinary school.
I feel this is a notch in her bedpost that should not be taken lightly. To get to this point, Nicki and I had to sacrifice many things that most people would love to have. We left behind successful engineering careers that provided, what we though were, many comforts. Ultimately, the problem with our old life is that we didn't like it. I know our parents don't fully understand what we are doing. On many levels, they feel that we have thrown away something that should be important, and, perhaps, they even feel that we are not appreciative of what they went through to get us to the point where we actually had careers. We are appreciative. We embrace every effort that was ever taken on our behave. However, I can never let go of a certain sentiment that was left with me from growing up. That is that 'parents want their children to have a better life than they did'. Seems like a simple concept for most. Unfortunately for society, Nicki and I are not what you might call your standard fare, so, often times, the mould doesn't fit our vision. In a way, that is what happened with our past careers. We know that we are destine for something more. We may not be always able to put our finger on the specifics of what our vision entails; nonetheless, we extend out our stride until the the right ground supports our gait. Tomorrow is, what I would like to call, familiar, comforting ground for Nicki and I to tread upon.

Congratulations Nicki you have worked hard, and you have earned it. I love you

2008-04-11T01:02:00.002-04:00

Well, I just got home after a very long day. I would have made it home much sooner. Unfortunately, as I was driving out of the parking structure, I reached up to feel for my flash drive (which I wear around my neck), when I realized it was gone. If anyone has lost one of these things before you know exactly how I felt. Dread, panic, and even terror to say the least. I kept thinking to myself when was the last time I backed up the files on the drive. I couldn't remember; so, I would have to say it had been some time. So, I turn the car around, and head back to work to retrace my steps. After 45 minutes, this proved to be useless, so home was back on the horizon for me. Dragging myself back to the car, I kept asking myself if I have enough time in the semester to redo all the work that I lost. There is only two and a half weeks left in this semester! When I got back to my Jeep I tore to thing apart, and low and behold the stupid thing was under my seat. It amazes me how much a tiny piece of plastic and circuitry can cause such turmoil in such a short amount of time. Well, at least I found it this time...

Nursing Student Council

2008-04-06T22:53:00.004-04:00

Well, I don't know how I managed this; but, I somehow managed to convince some 200 of my fellow students to elect me vice president of the School of Nursing student council. Now, this sounds like an amazing feat. In most schools, I think that it would be, but at U of L Nursing School it may not be all that prestigious. In the beginning, I was running a tight race with a girl from another class. I was a little worried; so, I decided to put forth the extra effort to really send home my message. I went all out with a caring, informational e-mail about who I am and what I stand for. Then, I took the extra effort to go to other classes and talk about topics that I felt were important to the nursing school in an attempt to show that I am active and care about what happens to the student body of our great nursing school. All the while, I was wondering what my opponent was doing. I though "well, surly she must be making fliers of her stance on pivotal issues". I almost started to worry that maybe I should make some posters about how Rory Baker likes to save baby seals, or something to that effect. But, all was for not! In the end, I didn't make any posters, I didn't need to run around to other classrooms pleading my case, or declare how my johnson can turn the pages of my text book (as a Gary would tell you that worked for Slick Willy). All I needed to do was...NOTHING. The person I was running against dropped out of the election a week before voting. So, How am I suppose to feel about all of this?

I guess I am happy that I won. Actually, I am quite excited. I am going to do the best that I can in my position. But, it is a little comical that I ran, and won the vice presidency, against...myself. Well, it will be a good time. I enjoy helping out my fellow students, and being involved.

Oh, I guess on a final note I should say the election results. I received a total of 51 votes out of a total of 51 votes cast. Hey, that's 100%. Very decisive.

Oh, one more thing. Recently, I got fed up with a redneck that writes for our student newspaper; so, you know what I did. I wrote a letter!! Yes, I did I wrote a friggin' letter, and it got published in the newspaper that U of L supports. Oh yeah, the guy is an engineering major, so it shouldn't be so unexpected. But, anyway, here is the letter if you are interested:

http://media.www.louisvillecardinal.com/media/storage/paper964/news/2008/04/01/Opinion/Letters.To.The.Editor.gay.Agenda.Tricks.Used.To.Confuse.Readers-3293617.shtml

Well, thank you for listening to my rant.

The Field Day

2008-03-28T22:18:00.001-04:00

I had a wonderful experience the other day. I guess I should explain a little. As you all know, I am in nursing school right now. One of the classes that I am taking right now is community health, and one of the things we have to do is a community assessment of one of the local elementary schools. This involves coming up with a nursing intervention that combats a defined health problem. For us, this was a field day. Now mind you, that means ten of us playing with 250 kids in a gymnasium for about four hours. They loved it, but it just made me exhausted. And, made me never want to be a teacher. But, seriously, it was a great experience.

This school no longer has a gym teacher or a gym class. Can you believe that! I always looked forward to gym when I was a kid. And you know what, I think most of the kids look forward to gym class as well. It makes me think. Why do we have such a big problem with kids that are in active. So far, my experience tells me that kids love to run, jump, and even play. Could it be that we are so caught up in so many other trivial things that we have limited access for what kids do naturally? We spend millions on research, nursing interventions, and medical treatments to get people more active; but, we continue to limit funding that provides the daily activities that seats the benefits of an active lifestyle early in a persons youth. Having a gym class every day, especially throughout the formative years, goes far to help develop bones that are higher in density. This gives a person a good start in combating osteoporosis. I truly feel that gym class should be one of the most important things in the curriculum. I am not trying to say that math and science is not important. I just feel that an active life needs to go hand in hand with the science and the math. Ultimately, I feel that we are doing a great disservice for children when we don’t provide a daily outlet for the energy kids naturally have.

We should do better…
We can do better…

2008-03-08T21:34:00.002-05:00

Well, I have noticed as I learn more the more that there I want to learn. I think that makes sense anyway. For some time, I have known that I wanted to continue on to graduate school with my college education. It just feels right. Not to mention, I want to know the "why" behind how things work. To me, the "why" is what education leads too, not just a job. As a human, I, unfortunately, can't learn it all; however, I have been reluctant to choose a focus for my efforts. At least, until recently. Currently, I am taking my first pharmacology course. As difficult as it is, I keep finding myself fascinated at every turn. Pharmacology is a true challenge. I want you to be certain that I do not mean pharmacist. I probably will not make as much money as a pharmacist. What I want is different. I want to learn, study, and teach about drugs. Not your street variety by the way (although they are good attention grabbers). It's just that, there are so many holes in our knowledge it is easy to believe that we really know quite little. That may sound slightly romantic. We really do know a hell of a lot as humans, and we can be quite clever at figuring things out. My point, we still have gaps in our knowledge that we shouldn't. Well, to the point. I want to be a pharmacologist. It will be the hardest thing that I have ever done in my life, but it wouldn't be worth doing if it wasn't hard.

2008-02-29T20:26:00.003-05:00

Today, I finally had the opportunity to show Nicki around the NICU. I think she liked seeing all the little ones. Mostly, I enjoyed introducing her to the people that I work with. I got to show her what a baby looks like with a 22 week gestation age; and, I introduced her to some of the cutest babies we have on the floor. They have been with us for some time, and are a little older. Not to mention, they have vibrant, individual personalities. Really they're just spoiled; but, they deserve it.

I really enjoyed wandering around with her today. Kinda reminded me of our old engineering days, but those days were mostly filled with arguing with contractors. I guess what I am getting at is that I am still proud to show off my girl.

Nicki says:
Hi, it's me, the Wifester. Rory really wants my impression of where he works on his blog, so here it goes:

The babies all look so delicate. I would be terrified to handle them for fear of injuring them. At one point, Rory picked one of the bigger babies up, and all I could think was "Oh no! Hold the neck! What if your hands are germy and the baby gets sick?! What if the diaper falls off!?!!" In short, I could never do what Rory and so many others make look so effortless: being a great nurse.
It was more crowded then I expected. When you see baby wards in movies, there always the size of a gymnasium with a fumbling dad standing at the window staring in. Well, it's all alot more compact than that, and none of these babies are fortunate enough to only have movie-star baby problems.
All of Rory's co-workers seem to be friendly, caring people who really love their jobs. Several people commented to me on what a great job Rory does (the same thing happened at the U of L ceremony from teachers and other students), but they're not telling me anything I didn't already know. I've always known how terrific my husband is; I'm just so happy and proud that he is now in a career path where his compassion and thoughtfulness can be recognized by everybody else.

U of L Transition ceremony

2008-02-27T20:49:00.002-05:00

Well, we just returned from my University of Louisville School of Nursing Transition ceremony. So, apparently it's official I'm now a nursing student. I kinda already knew I was one, due to the giant pile of homework. Nonetheless, I am glad it's official. During the ceremony we had to recite, and sign, a code of honor that the university has developed and adheres too. This pledge sums up what it should be like to be a nurse, but it wasn't the highlight of my evening. Mostly, I enjoyed finally introducing my wife (see other blog) to the people that I have grown fond of over the past months. I really think that they enjoyed meeting her as well. Ultimately, I can envision some long friendships with many of the people I am in school with now, and having a ceremony to start that off is alright by me.

Facebook

2008-02-25T08:16:00.004-05:00

Recently, I caved to peer pressure, and joined facebook. This pressure came from work and school sources; and, I figure "well at least it's not My Space". My impression is that My space is the dirtier of the two; nonetheless, I didn't want to feel like I needed to take a shower everytime I got off the computer.

Anyway, I have some friends from school on there; and, I think my sister, mom, and my wife. It's all well and good, but it seems like a big pain in the ass. O.K. I like to keep up, and talk to people, as much as the next guy. However, this thing is just too much in my face. I don't mind B.S.ing with a vast amount of people; but, I really don't need to know when someone added their 800th friend, added a new timer, or joined another one of the 1000's of networks out there.

Next, I may have to admit that this could be a sign of me getting a little old (or just lazy). I keep getting frustrated trying to navigate through the stupid advertisements in an attempt to try to post some pictures. If I want to know what the latest boner medication is I can just watch T.V., and have it all handed to me while I grow fatter on my couch. Or, god forbid write a meaningful post. I am a writer, at least when I have the time, and facebook just doesn't satisfy that for me.

My final bitch is this. I don't like having to tell the computer at every turn what I am doing, why I am doing something, and who I am doing it with. Granted, I am not doing anything that is all that interesting, and that may be what pisses me off the most. Facebook consistently throws it in my face how little I actually accomplish in a day. I don't need that. I like my blogger where it doesn't chastise me for not posting something for a couple of months.

I don't have boner ads on my blog, my blog is not mean to me, and my blog is a trusty sidekick that is there when I need a good place to rant.
What does all this come to...I don't think that I want to be on facebook, so if I invited you, or are a facebook friend, don't be alarmed at my dropping out of the facebook world. It is just not for me. But, you can always read my trusty old blog...

Been busy

2008-02-19T22:08:00.002-05:00

Well, I know it has been several months since writing anything here. I didn't intend to be away for that long, but things happen. Well, nursing school happends. At first, I was nervous about pulling good grades, but that soon turned into accepting grades that were a little lower than what I am accostume to getting. For instance, my GPA entering nursing school was 3.675. I thought that was pretty good. I am happy it was that high, because by the time I graduate I hope it will still be above a 3.0 average. Well, I guess I just need to keep telling myself that if my sister can do it so can I. Besides, I am the smart one. Ooo, she'll be mad when she reads that. Ah well, she knows I'm kidding. And, speaking of smarty pants people, how is it that Nicki can get no sleep, work like crazy, go to two schools, and pull strait A's? I think I married a cyborg. Or, a human computer.

Anyway, she completly surprised me for valantines day. I woke up thinking "remember to say happy valentines day", and was completely thrown off by a box of chocholates waiting for me. I was so touched, and then I ate some for breakfast. I figured it's better than beer. Oh, my sister got us a a cute boston terrier card. Homer and Lucy didn't do a damb thing. they didn't even say happy valentines day. What a couple of freeloaders eh?

Till next time...

Orientation

2007-12-14T22:19:00.000-05:00

Well, Today I attended the orientation session for U of L's nursing program. I know they purposely make it sound like the most impossible thing on earth, and it certainly feels like it. So far, I have my schedule figured out, my insurance figured out, and how I am going to pay for it. I guess those are the biggies; but, I still feel lost. I keep telling myself, I work with tons of nurses (with varying degree of intellect), and they made it through. So, there is no reason why I can't do the same; but, I want to make it through better than average. Hopefully, much better than average. I don't want you to think that I'm cocky though. I have a pretty good suspicion how annoying that is. Today, there was one dude that was talking about how he is going to pull a 4.0 though all of nursing school. Personally, I tell myself I'm going to be a scholar, but bragging about it to a group of people I don't know is similar to writing checks my ass can't cash. I think this guy is going to have a wake up call sometime during the 18 credit semester.

Yes, our first semester is a mandatory 18 credits. Plus, I work full time. If I look at the time... 168 hours per week...Less 18 hours for class...down to 150 hours...they say you need to spend three hours outside of class per hour in class, but I am confident enough that I could accomplish the same with 2 hours per hour in class...that's 36 additional hours accounted for...so, I am down to 114 hours per week...I can get by on 6 hours of sleep a night...42 hours per week...down to 72 hours...I need to work 36 hours per week...only 36 hours left...commuting is about 14 hours...22 hours... .7 hours (85 min) a week is just for pooping (part of the is during work. I love to get paid to poop)...much more if your a Gary ( I was just trying to say that Garys poop frequently and more giant than average)...21.3 hours left in the count down...What remains? three hours per day for all the other shit that a human does. Remember, I accounted for the poop (well, not a Gary poop: that can be pretty involved...like, sometimes, Gary needs special plungers that has the capacity to run on an internal combustion engine, disposable wipes that are stronger than steel (but biodegradable), and Boston Terriers that are willing to clean up after anything. Hell, I thing a Boston Terrier will smell a Gary turd for at least 20 minutes.

Well, I was super stressed before writing this, but it seems that, with the three extra hours per day, I should be all set.

No Garys were harmed in this writing. Even if a Gary was, who cares there Garys... And Nicki, I love you.

Last Kiss

2007-12-12T16:43:00.000-05:00

O.K., I am straying from my usual content; because, I have a complaint that needs to be registered. There is a movie that I recently watched that was so utterly stupid I could not sit by any longer. First, the trailer.

If I could draw your attention to the specimen Zach Braff. How in the hell did this dork pull, not one, but two hot chicks, do them both (while knocking one up), and then weasel his way back to the hot chick that he screwed over. To me, this sounds similar to what I imagine the real Braff to be. A whiny, weasel who can't act to save his ass. There's so much to bitch about, I don't know where to begin. First, why does Hollywood have to keep taking scripts from better movies, recycle them, and turn them into trash to let whiny testicles star in. Oh yes the Last Kiss was remade from an Italian film called L' Ultimo Bacio. As far as I can, that was a good film with many awards to back it up. So, in the infinite wisdom of the producers who do they cast to lead this piece of trash? Braffy.

I like how Braffy needs to drive a hybrid when in real life he prefers to see his reflection only in the mirrors of his V-12 Ferrari that sucks premium at 11 mpg. Actually, he probably needed the wuss car to match his irritating, high pitched, grating acting style.

To tell you the truth, I am surprised they let him be on top during the love scene. He definitely feels more like a bottom to me. I do have to apologize, my intent is not to offend the gay community by implying that Braffy may be a part of it. But I digress, I didn't want to see any of this dorks body. O.K. I do have some advice for Braffy: do a little cardio if you are going to get naked on the big screen. And, I think your chin (the second one) could lose a pound or two.

Oh, I forgot to mention how all Braffy needs to do is lay on the porch, and all is forgiven. Where is your co hones Braffy? A real man wouldn't have got himself in the situation to begin with.

O.K. That's it for now. Except for this: I am glad Scrubs is ending, and Braffy got shit canned as Wendy's spokes person. Anyway, this was all just my opinion.

End of the Semester

2007-12-10T09:05:00.000-05:00

I know it's been a while since I got around to writing a post. Really, I've just been busy. As soon as midterms started, it seems as though the semester has flown by. I just have one more final to take tomorrow; and, I will be done until community health nursing starts in January. I am happy with my grades (all A's), and the ol' GPA increased a few points.

I have also intended to be active with my new Golden Key Society membership; but, I keep finding other things to do. I was truly hoping that this wouldn't be something I became a part of to put it on my resume'. I guess that's not so bad a thing. I do want to get involved with the nursing student government, and the other nursing related clubs.

The NICU is good. We have actually celebrated a birthday for one of our chronic kids. There wasn't family around, but we had cake, presents, and lots of loving nurses that would be willing to take the little one home at a moments notice. In the last two weeks, I got to witness a cesarean section, and a traditional live birth. Interesting, however, it makes me appreciate that I am a dude. The c-section was very cool. I was impressed with how quick the surgery team moved. I think the whole thing took less than 15min.

Well, anyway until next time...

Name Recognition

2007-10-29T11:04:00.000-04:00

Over the weekend, there was a series of staff meetings to allow the nurses to vent to corporate about problems in the unit. Mostly, the complaints centered around staffing. I agree that this is a major issue on every unit, but some are worse than others. The floor that I came from was much worse off with staff than the NICU is. Of course, I didn't dare mention that to anyone. I might have been removed from the building. One cool thing that happened, one of the corporate players approached me and exclaimed "Oh your Rory... I have heard great things about you". For the life of me, I couldn't understand why people in the corporate ranks know who I am. This happened a couple of weeks ago with an HR manager, too. I guess it's good to be known. But it is weird when total strangers engage me in conversation; and, I am still at the point of struggling to remember their name. I am going to chalk it up as one point in the good column.

I Made It

2007-10-18T22:03:00.000-04:00

I started going back to school in 2004. Moreover, I was determined to do well this time. The one thing that has been looming over me (since I decided that nursing was my future) is if I could even make it into nursing school. The prerequisites are nothing to joke about. Anatomy and Physiology alone can test the limits of forced memorization.

Finally, after many years, I received the word today that I am accepted to University of Louisville Nursing program.

I am ecstatic.

Now, I want you all to remember that when I started going back to school I worked 50 to 60 hours a week. Not the easiest thing that I have ever done in my life. Even now, I work 36 hours a week at the NICU. All in all, I know there is a long road ahead, but this is a hurdle that I have been waiting to bound over for a long time. It feels great.

Oh, I also want to mention that I have been recently inducted to the Golden Key Honor Society. I would like to see your average mortal accomplish that. Work full time, go to school full time, and rock the shit out of both. Granted Nicki could do it blindfolded (but not without my help). By the way, if you have yet to know who Nicki is just click the link. I wouldn't be here without her help either.

A Code

2007-10-17T19:40:00.000-04:00

Codes…Most people who are close to the medical profession know what this term entails. In a hospital this means an imminent loss of life. Often people hear the term “code blue”, but this means an adult patient is in trouble. Usually, there is a different code for pediatrics. Codes are a necessary, but difficult, duty to be a part of.

I was a part of a code the other day. In the past, I have been involved, or on the periphery of, “code blue” emergencies, but this was a little more unique than anything previously experienced. In a way, it felt more controlled, and there was time to devote to preparation. For instance, the baby was delivered via Cesarean section, which was somewhat scheduled; and, the reason it was coming to the NICU was known ahead of time from an ultrasound. It was almost as if the situation was scheduled. If only it was that easy.

I recall one moment during it all that made me very proud. At one moment, a resident, struggling to place a central line, could not understand how we (mostly the nurses, respiratory therapists, and our x-ray tech) could all be so calm. Thinking back, the nurses provided everything needed, and performed most of the procedure. For example, when the doctors asked for something it was available before the doctor knew she needed it. And at the end, the nurses were there to take care of the baby after this tough fight. At the risk of offending other professions, I must say one thing. Nurses are the backbone of medicine. I hope that I can live up to it.

Rough Day

2007-09-28T21:13:00.000-04:00

Well, I just completed another day at the NICU. I usually work Friday, Saturday, and Sunday with the rest of the week off. So, Friday is my Monday, and wasn’t the happiest of days either. Unfortunately, the little 22wk baby that was admitted on Sunday passed away on Wednesday. I didn’t think she would survive long: 22weeks is just too young. However, I did have a few other shocking things. Tuesday morning (with no indication) we had a 9 month old stopped breathing, and died. All things considered, she seemed to be getting better, and we all thought that she would be able to be discharged in the near future. It makes it harder when you have known a baby for that long. It really does. I try to keep in mind that God has a plan, and my proof of this is bad things tend to happen in threes. I know it sounds superstitious, but it is the one thing that I hold to be true. The third and saddest thing, which happened this week, was another little girl (9 months old) passed away. She was a patient of ours, and was discharged a short time back. She was readmitted a couple of times for infections. But on Tuesday, her family was driving to a relative’s house, and their son looked into her car seat to see her gray, blue, and gone. By the time she reached the emergency department there was nothing they could do. This turned out to be a rough day.

The Past

2007-09-25T22:26:00.000-04:00

I never got to tell you about my old floor. I think I started, but never got a chance to finish my thought.
As I was saying, I couldn’t go back to my old unit. Perhaps, I should explain why, but I want to do so letting everyone understand that I have the utmost respect for the nurses, especially the nurse aids, that make a career in an area like this.
The floor I came from is a TCU (telemetry care unit) for adult patients. On this floor, I have encountered patients going through detox, stroke, varying degrees of heart attacks etc., and dealing with adults of all sizes (and age). It is very hard work for little reward. It was not uncommon to clean up any bodily fluid several times a day. I accept that as a part of my job, then and now. To me, it seemed no matter how hard I worked, the job was never good enough. Above all, what set me over the edge was the paper work. Typically, I performed rounds every 2 hours on 8 to 12 patients. I charted the work I performed in the computer, on the clipboard in the room, and on our hand off sheets. In an effort to increase our patient satisfaction scores, management decided the best thing to do was to add yet another form to fill out. Personally, I felt like I was being punished for doing my job. So, I left.
Now, on the NICU, I feel welcome, and appreciated. I can’t say I don’t have bad days here at the NICU. But, I know my presence is appreciated.

A Day to Make You Tired

2007-09-23T22:51:00.000-04:00

Well, I have just come off of the craziest day ever. 3 discharged babies, and 9 admissions. We are over capacity, but we can't go on diversion. I guess we are the only hospital not allowed to divert, in the region, that can handle neonatal cardiac cases. Our transport team earned their money today; furthermore, I think their helicopter is going to need an overhaul from all of the trips. We actually admitted a 22 wk baby today. The poor thing can't breath on it's own, and its skin is basically see through. Doesn't look good for the little one, but she was holding her own when I left for the day. Her viability is questionable; however, I believe, if God has a plan, she can do nothing else but follow it.

This Place Can Make Your Head Spin

2007-09-17T22:13:00.000-04:00

On my first day, the NICU seemed to swallow, and disorient me, so completely Ifelt I would never feel comfortable here. I was certain that I made a grave error bytransferring off of the med-surg floor I worked on to come to this environment. I remember attempting to comprehend the level of activity, and fully failing to do so. Looking back, I think about the parents that come in now, and try to remember how confusing it all can be. I didn’t even have a sick kid, to top it all off, like the parents do.

Most of my issues came from how many babies are usually in this unit. When I started, I think there were 97 beds, and the hospital is still expanding its NICU. That’s 97 babies nearly all of the time (with occasional 100+ babies). On my guided tour, what sticks out in my mind is the hoses, tubes, IV’s, blue lights (billi lights), and how small the kids are. Part of me felt like I might be in a rave from the Twilight Zone; and, selfishly, I hoped my nervousness wasn’t apparent. For most of the morning, I kept thinking how am I going to tell my wife that I need to go back to more familiar surroundings. Not to mention, I spent the last six months biding my time to get away from those familiar surroundings.

As my guided tour ended, I was assigned to a preceptor to help me through orientation. I was handed over to Anne, of whom I cannot say enough good things about. She is a saint that possesses the patients of an angel. I think she could persevere through anything, but right now she teaches me about the differences in the caring of an infant, vs caring for an adult. She walked me through assessing a baby’s vital signs, and taking care of a baby’s daily needs. She even showed me how to change a diaper. I need to say, I knew how to change a diaper (or brief), but I have only performed this on an adult. My first diaper changing in the NICU was on a three pound baby with a necrotic (dead) bowel. The diaper was smaller than my hand, which was a welcome change to the 20+ minute ordeal for the briefs that I was used to. With my nervousness waning, I realized the kids were tougher than they looked; and, I thought, perhaps I should give it some time before I make anymore changes.

My First Blog

2007-09-17T08:14:00.000-04:00

My First Blog,

Well, here we go. I have been hesitant to throw myself to the whims of the internet; ultimately, I keep telling myself “what’s the worst that can happen?” To start, I thought that I would tell you a little about myself first. In the future, I am sure that I will elaborate more.

Currently, I live in Louisville, KY with my beautiful wife, and our two Boston terriers. A few years back, we left our engineering careers in pursuit of the things that we really wanted in life. For instance, I am finishing up my bachelor’s degree in nursing at the University of Louisville, and I work at the local children’s hospital on the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). Upon graduating, I fully intend to work in the NICU as a neonatal nurse. Right now, I am a pharmacy technician, and a nurse aid (CNA), on the floor. Even at my level now, I have never had a more fulfilling career. I truly love working with the neonate’s. Not so much because they are cute (which mostly they are adorable), I know they haven’t asked for the lot that was handed to them in life, and they are completely helpless in any prevention that may have been possible.

Thank you for reading my first post. I hope to bring you more stories from my life, the NICU, and to possibly persuade you to consider nursing as a career.